Consent Models

Consent is the foundation of ethical rope practice. Over time, different communities have developed frameworks to help people talk about risk, responsibility, boundaries and care. None of these models are perfect on its own, they are tools. The goal is clearer communication, better informed choices, and more intentional play.

These models are guides, not rigid rules. They can be combined, adapted, or used selectively to cover what matters most to the people in the conversation. When you are first learning, it can be useful to follow them more formally until consent and negotiation start to feel fluent and natural.

Below are five widely referenced models used in BDSM and rope communities.

Consent is clear, communicated, enthusiastic, the initiator’s responsibility and can be renegotiated or withheld at any time

Below are five widely referenced models used in BDSM and rope communities.

SSC — Safe, Sane, Consensual

SSC is one of the oldest and most widely known frameworks.

Safe — Activities should minimise preventable harm and follow known safety practices.

Sane — Participants should be of sound mind and able to make reasoned decisions.

Consensual — Everyone involved freely agrees to the activity.

Strengths: Simple, memorable, and useful for beginners.

 

Limitations: “Safe” and “sane” can feel subjective or judgemental. Some edge play and intense practices don’t fit neatly under “safe.”

SSC works well as a starting point, but many people move toward more risk-aware language as their practice develops.

RACK — Risk-Aware Consensual Kink

RACK shifts the focus from the idea of absolute safety to informed acceptance of risk.

Risk-Aware — Participants understand the potential physical, emotional and psychological risks.

Consensual — Agreement is ongoing, informed and freely given.

Kink — The framework is specifically for kink and BDSM practices.

 

Strengths: Honest about the reality that many kink activities carry inherent risk. Encourages education and personal responsibility.

Limitations: “Risk-aware” still requires people to actually do the work of learning and communicating.

RACK is widely used in rope and more experienced kink communities because it supports both caution and personal agency.

PRICK — Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink

PRICK places even stronger emphasis on individual ownership of choices.

Personal Responsibility — Each person is responsible for their own decisions, limits and wellbeing.

Informed — Consent is based on accurate information about risks and practices.

Consensual — Agreement must be clear and ongoing.

Kink — Applies to kink and BDSM contexts.

 

Strengths: Clear focus on agency and accountability. Useful for discussions about self-knowledge and preparation.

Limitations: Can be misused to dismiss the responsibility of partners to communicate carefully and look after one another.

PRICK is often used alongside RACK rather than instead of it.

RBDSM-AT(C)

RBDSM-AT is a broader negotiation and relationship framework. Unlike SSC, RACK or PRICK (which mainly describe an ethical stance), RBDSM-AT is designed to structure deeper conversations - especially useful for ongoing dynamics, regular play partners, and emotionally significant rope.

R — Relationships
What is the nature of the connection? Is this a one-off scene, casual play, practice tying, a structured dynamic, or something with ongoing expectations? Clarifying roles, power exchange (if any), and how you relate outside - what is a your relationship status, how many partners? who would be affected by our interactions? what are the boundaries you have with others in relation to this interaction?

B — Boundaries
Hard limits, soft limits, and edges. This includes covers what is off-limits, what might be approachable with care, and what feels exciting but uncertain. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, relational or contextual (e.g. no play when stressed, no photos, no public elements). Safe words and non verbal signals to express boundaries.

D — Desires
What do people actually want? This includes activities, emotional tones, intensity levels, aesthetic preferences, and the kind of experience each person is hoping for. Naming desires helps partners move beyond “what we won’t do” into “what we want to create together.”

S — Sexual health
STI status, testing habits, barrier use, fluid exchange preferences, and any relevant health information. Even in non-sexual rope, bodies are close and skin can break; clarity here is part of informed consent.

M — Meaning
What does the play represent or evoke? For some people rope is purely physical or aesthetic; for others it carries emotional, psychological, erotic or even spiritual weight. Talking about meaning helps partners avoid accidental emotional harm and align on the tone of a scene.  Does it feel right to move ahead with shared meaning of the interaction?  Are we clear about what it means to each other?

A — Aftercare
What support is needed afterwards - physical (water, warmth, food, help untying), emotional (quiet presence, reassurance, space, debrief), and practical (time to reorient, help getting home).  This is in different timeframes too, immediately after the rope session, later that day or through the week check ins.  Aftercare needs can differ widely and often change with the intensity of the scene.

T — Trauma / Triggers
Known histories, sensitivities, words, positions, sensations or dynamics that may activate distress. This also includes how someone wants a partner to respond if a trigger is hit (stop immediately, pause and check in, change approach, etc.). What are the signs of going into fawn or freeze responses if it happens?  Trauma-informed negotiation does not require full disclosure of history,  only what is needed for safer, more respectful play.

 

** C - Concerns (an extra bonus)
I like to add Fears or Concerns.   Asking about if there are any current fears or concerns about the interaction.   These could be a fear about being seen in a vulerable state, a concern that a friendsship might change, a worry that aftercare won't be  carried out, concerned I will lose my vioce during the interaction.  I'm worried the pace might go beyond what I am ready for.   A clear discussion about concerns can help establish a more caring held interaction or give good reason to slow right down so the concerns aren't over ridden.

 

Strengths: Encourages fuller, more human conversations that include emotional context, health and care — not just the activities themselves. Especially valuable for rope, where vulnerability, body contact and power dynamics often run deep.

Limitations: It takes time and a degree of trust. It is less useful as a quick checklist right before a casual scene and works best when people have space to talk properly.

Many people use RBDSM-AT as a periodic or “big picture” negotiation tool, then rely on a shorter checklist (like MITPISA) before individual scenes.

MITPISA

MITPISA is a practical, scene-focused negotiation shorthand widely used in rope and body-based play. It is designed to be run through before tying or scene-ing so that key physical, emotional and logistical points are covered without needing a long formal discussion every time.

M — Marks
What kinds of marks are acceptable (rope marks, bruises, welts)? Where on the body? How visible can they be, and for how long? This is especially important for people who need to remain mark-free for work, family or personal reasons.

I — Injuries / Illness
Existing injuries, chronic conditions, recent illness, mobility limitations, old injuries that still flare, or anything that affects how someone can be tied or positioned. This includes things like joint issues, nerve sensitivity, breathing conditions, or recent medical procedures.

T — Triggers / Turn-offs / Tone / Time
Triggers: emotional or trauma-related sensitivities
Turn-offs: things that kill the mood or feel unpleasant
Tone: the desired emotional quality of the scene (playful, strict, sensual, quiet, intense, etc.)
Time: available time, hard stop times, and how long someone can reasonably stay in rope or in a particular headspace

P — Proximity
How close will bodies be? Is this one-on-one or are others present? Private, semi-private or public? Any preferences about who can watch, help, or be nearby?

I — Interaction / Intensity
Level of physical and emotional intensity. How much interaction does the bottom want while in rope (talking, silence, checking in, rough handling, gentle presence)? How hard, how fast, how deep should the experience go?

S — Sex / Safety / Safewords / Substances / Senses
Sex: whether sexual contact is on the table, and what kinds
Safety: tools, cutting implements, monitoring circulation and nerves, emergency plans
Safewords / signals: verbal safewords, non-verbal signals (especially important when someone may be gagged or deep in subspace)
Substances: alcohol, drugs, or medications that may affect judgement, pain perception or coordination
Senses: sensory needs or restrictions (e.g. no blindfolds, sensitivity to sound, need to keep glasses on, temperature preferences)

A — Aftercare / Anything else
Concrete aftercare requests and any remaining needs, questions or “please don’t forget” items that didn’t fit neatly elsewhere.

 

Strengths: Concrete, practical and easy to remember. Excellent as a pre-scene checklist for rope. Covers many of the issues that actually cause problems in practice (marks, injuries, time, signals, aftercare).

Limitations: It is a scene tool, not a full relationship or ethics framework. It works best inside a broader culture of consent and care (such as RACK/PRICK + elements of RBDSM-AT).

Rope practitioners treat MITPISA as a flexible prompt rather than a rigid script; running through the letters that matter for that particular scene and partner.

Using These Models Well

No single acronym covers everything. Many people combine elements:

Use SSC or RACK/PRICK as the overall ethical stance.
Use RBDSM-AT for deeper relationship and dynamic conversations.
Use MITPISA as a practical pre-scene checklist.

Good consent practice is less about choosing the “right” model and more about:

• Clear, specific communication
• Honesty about risk and capacity
• Respect for boundaries and the ability to withdraw consent
• Attention to aftercare and emotional impact
• Ongoing learning

Consent is a process, not a one-time checkbox.

 

Deeper Dive

Midori's Consent Dojo - Consent Dojo is an ongoing project created by Midori where she sits down to discuss different aspects of consent, how communication can affect and enhance our relationships, and how consent transcends the interpersonal world and builds more resilient communities and organizations.

Dr Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent - The Wheel of Consent was developed by Dr. Betty Martin, a retired chiropractor who later worked as a sexuality coach and certified surrogate partner. At a workshop she had learned The Three-Minute Game, developed by Harry Faddis. In her experience of the game with hundreds of hands-on clients, she noticed four distinct dynamics, each one a combination of two factors - who is doing and who it's for. The Wheel of Consent model is a diagram of how these two factors overlap.

General Flow of Consent

1. Our Shared Intention

Shibari is about connection — with ourselves, our partners, and the present moment. Whether you tie for aesthetics, sensuality, therapy, or play, the foundation is trust, communication, and consent.

2. Consent Principles

Before any tie:
- Talk openly about boundaries, intentions, and experience level.

- Agree on what is okay, not okay, and maybe okay.

- Decide on safe words or color systems (Green / Yellow / Red).

During:
- Check in frequently - verbally or nonverbally.

- Watch for signs of discomfort (breath, tone, muscle tension, withdrawal).

- Consent is ongoing and can be withdrawn at any time — no explanation needed.

After:
- Offer aftercare: grounding, hydration, gentle touch, conversation, or space.

- Ask: “What do you need right now?”

 

3. Physical Safety Basics

Avoid: Neck, armpits, inside of elbows, wrists (pressure on nerves), knees, and joints.

Check circulation: Rope should feel snug, not painful. Watch for numbness, tingling, or coldness.

Have safety scissors nearby — always accessible and visible.

Never leave someone tied unattended.

Use natural fiber rope (jute, hemp, or cotton) and inspect for damage before use.

 

4. Communication & Energy Awareness

Shibari is a dialogue — notice breath, body tone, and eye contact.

Move slowly; let intention guide your hands.

Stay present to the energy between you, not just the knots.

Pause if something feels “off.” Presence is more important than progress.

 

5. Emotional Care & Boundaries

Rope can evoke strong emotional or somatic responses. This is normal.

Respect your partner’s nervous system — go gently, especially with new or vulnerable participants.

No assumptions about intimacy. Rope practice spaces are non-sexual unless clearly agreed otherwise.

Confidentiality: What happens or is shared in this space stays private.

 

6. In Case of an Emergency

Untie or cut rope immediately if there’s pain, panic, or loss of circulation.

Offer calm grounding: slow voice, eye contact, reassure.

Contact a facilitator or first aid person if needed.

 

Closing Reminder
Rope is a language of connection - spoken through trust, care, and awareness.

Consent can be withdrawn at any given moment without reasoning.

You are responsible for your own and your partner’s safety.

Move slowly, listen deeply, and let consent guide every moment.